Sometimes it feels like you need to hide yourself from the world. It feels like no one could possibly understand and no one could possibly get why you are so guarded. Sometimes you have to hide yourself from the world to protect your inner most being. Perhaps not even out of the fear of embarrassment or shame, but perhaps because the inner most being has been so hurt before, you don’t want to let that be exposed anymore.

I have found myself in wanting to hide my inner most being because I didn’t want to get hurt anymore. Or better yet, I didn’t want to let that little people inside me get hurt anymore. So, I hid them away from the world after the abuse had stopped. They, of course, they were still around the whole time. But now, I want them to be able to come out and experience other things not just pain and sorrow.

Many people with DID, make sure that their identities stay hidden. I did this for a long time because it is part of survival. But sometimes they need to be able to come out and see that good things can happen. I am starting to learn this myself and starting to implement this into my life now.

It has been somewhat freeing to let others see other parts of me that have been so broken. But it is still a huge vulnerability. It must be done with safe people and with lots of care. But it can be done. I am hoping as I continue to let others in to see my guarded identities, that I can completely come out of hiding.